New Semester...

fuck...

new sem already...

im not ready...

well,still got to go through it...

during on the way to bangi from ipoh

i nearly had an accident with my dad..

luckily nothing happen and dad was able to control the car..

so,arrive at bangi,register n then went to my rented house with my buddies..

n waiting for a new sem

sheesh....

January....

so start of the new year,,,,

new year already eh?...

whats that to be excited about?

i mean what did i achieve last year to be excited about?...

absolutely nothing...

nothing except the constant sadness that has always been there for me my entire life...

Im a Heart Breaker...

so,to whom it may concern....

this post is meant for you....

this post is to show you...

i didnt meant any evilness...

with tears im typing this so that u know...

please do remember that i didnt lie..

i didnt cheat...

i didnt play...

i left you because i know im not making u happy...

i left you because i know that im a faker

i left u because i dont want to hurt u anymore...

i left u because i know u deserve better than me...

you do...

but you dont see it...

ur blinded by hatred n words...

u fog urself with feelings of evilness towards me...

to you im the most evil person...

nevermind that...

i guess i deserve that...

im so stupid...i wish u would just take my life away...

i never intended for you to hate me...

but then again,im deserved nothing...

keep hating me.....

LAST YEAR.....

so,what happen last year eh?....

nothing much.....

just the same as i keep on sucking myself like always....

i can't remember much as my short term memory loss is getting worse..

so im gonna tell u as much as i could and as short and sweet.....

last post was august..

so im gonna continue with september....

so that month sees me closing on my finals...

me?

still catching on my studies...

micro was hard as hell.....

october...

there was the fasting month i think....

yup...

so not much except me trying to keep my sane as always.,,,

november....

last month of study for my 2nd sem....

finals in front of me....

december....

holidays...

do i think its fun

nope...

never is n never will be....

thats all for last year....

im here without myself....
im an empty person....
no heart,no soul,no life.....
an empty person....
because all im doing in life is keep people happy.....
not even once have i thought about my own happiness....
like a zombie i keep doing mindless things just to show respect to people.....
i say what they want to hear,i do what they want everytime just so that no one will be mad at me.....
but its so hard....
at points,i just wanna let go n stop caring about people n just cre about me....
but i cant....
im too afraid...
im a coward....
a big coward to express my feelings.....

u wanna know why there's no title to each of my blog???.....
its because its hurts so much to write that i couldht think of title....
i hate everything,every single thing bout me.....
do i believe in happiness???.....
no....
do i believe in love??....
not a single bit......
i am empty at heart......
no matter with who i am,i feel empty....
this hole in my heart wont cure even the slightest bit.....
it wont.....
and will never ever cure no matter what a person do or say to me.....
im not sttuborn but im just letting my heart cure by itself.....
and if it says it wants a long time to cure then im down with it....
i let it takes as much time it wants even if it takes an eternity to cure....
dont force me.......

it's been a long time.....
i have never been able to find the time to write....
im never quite the good writer.....
words always fail me...
and my problems just keeps adding on and on.....
recently my lappy n my phone got stolen.....
i was devastated.....
but i didnt give up....
i kept searching....
and lucky for me i got my lappy back and 400 bucks for my phone.......
i thought it was over but no....
another problem came to me....
now all of a sudden my roomie is avoiding me.....
i cant seem what i've done to make him mad....
i really dont...
but he seems determined to treat me this way.......
what did i do?????...........
i guess i just have to live with it....